For the next little bit, there will be some guest bloggers writting on this site.
CMcB and The Naked Redhead (http://www.thenakedredhead.com/) nope, still not porn.
Please welcome them and their unique styles. Nothing will be censored, they'll receive free range.
CMcB is a personal friend, spazzy in the best way, ex co worker, has a weakness for designer shoes, martini's, boys and has serious baby fever!
TNR - is admired from afar for her snarky wit, fashion sense, has a small hate on for the sad kitten looking Julian Harris(Bachlorette), and encouraging words and her 30 before 30 list.
(seriously check out her first time experience waxing her no-no area) hahaahah "
Burns like ten thousand suns... but yet I feel so smooth"
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Single-hood....again
I'm single again. Well I have always technically been single.
I've been dating a man on and off for 13 years.
We have a lot of history where he's stepped up and been there for me.
We started out as roommates, as I watched him tell lies, cheat, munipulate multiple women at a time, and thought "this is a guy I never want to experience".
Then it happened. We started dating, and of course he cheated and I ended things, heart broken and devestated, cos I was sincerely into him. To him it was a game.
Although, I did learn in later years, he did care, but the drama that was our circle of friends at the time was the demise of us.
Over the years we find ourselves together for convience and comfort if not anything else. We're never exclusive, we're rarely in public together, and yet this arrangement works for me. Until now.
In the past few months, we're both offically single and have been going out in public on dates, meeting up with MY friends (his I hate- always have) and yes, I've found myself getting attached.
I've put this to bed last night.
Knowing he's got the best of both worlds, having his cake and eating it.
Never for a moment did I ever kid myself that he would change for me, if I did, then I would deserve what I got.
I've told him I can no longer particapate in our arrangement that has worked so well for so long.
I like him. I want more.
Even if he agree'd to wanting more, I'd never be able to trust him. He cheats on.every.single.g/f.
He put a ring on the finger of his last g/f and still cheated on her while they lived together.
Seriously, I'm not foolish enough to fall for that or think he'd be any different.
He once said recently, he wanted us to be sexually exclusive but to date other people....
Can not even begin to tell you all the things wrong with that sentence.
I shed a a few tears, gave myself permission to be sad for a day, and now I'm over it.
But still in the back of my head, I wonder what keeps us coming back to each other over the last 13 years?
Has anyone ever been in this position? Mind says "HELL NO" but my heart still wants what it wants.
Thankfully my brain is the stronger of the two this time around.
I've been dating a man on and off for 13 years.
We have a lot of history where he's stepped up and been there for me.
We started out as roommates, as I watched him tell lies, cheat, munipulate multiple women at a time, and thought "this is a guy I never want to experience".
Then it happened. We started dating, and of course he cheated and I ended things, heart broken and devestated, cos I was sincerely into him. To him it was a game.
Although, I did learn in later years, he did care, but the drama that was our circle of friends at the time was the demise of us.
Over the years we find ourselves together for convience and comfort if not anything else. We're never exclusive, we're rarely in public together, and yet this arrangement works for me. Until now.
In the past few months, we're both offically single and have been going out in public on dates, meeting up with MY friends (his I hate- always have) and yes, I've found myself getting attached.
I've put this to bed last night.
Knowing he's got the best of both worlds, having his cake and eating it.
Never for a moment did I ever kid myself that he would change for me, if I did, then I would deserve what I got.
I've told him I can no longer particapate in our arrangement that has worked so well for so long.
I like him. I want more.
Even if he agree'd to wanting more, I'd never be able to trust him. He cheats on.every.single.g/f.
He put a ring on the finger of his last g/f and still cheated on her while they lived together.
Seriously, I'm not foolish enough to fall for that or think he'd be any different.
He once said recently, he wanted us to be sexually exclusive but to date other people....
Can not even begin to tell you all the things wrong with that sentence.
I shed a a few tears, gave myself permission to be sad for a day, and now I'm over it.
But still in the back of my head, I wonder what keeps us coming back to each other over the last 13 years?
Has anyone ever been in this position? Mind says "HELL NO" but my heart still wants what it wants.
Thankfully my brain is the stronger of the two this time around.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A More Sobering Reality.
Last year a women I worked with said THIS year was going to be my year of change, according to the Chinese Astrology, my sign (year of the rat- last year).
There is something to be said when a co worker will impose unsolicited advice and/or wisdom upon you, and have it come true.
How right she was.
You are now aware of the up coming changes in my life over the next 9 months. What I did not mention was how smoothly these transitions would NOT be.
My bestfriend is leaving her common-law spouse of 13 years. From day one I've never like this man. He made my skin crawl, and over the years, for good reason. Without giving the specific details of her life, he is a very controlling, verbal, emotional, mental, and financial abusive man. Thats putting it kindly.
In the past two months, I've gone from feeling young at heart to very much an adult. With real issues. (indirectly)
Things are escalating the more this man realizes that all his bullying, abusive tactics have no effect on my friend. She is leaving and there is nothing he can do, say, threaten her with to change her mind.
They have 4 kids. 3 together, 1 from a previous relationship.
He has now gone from begging her to stay, to threatening her, to emotional blackmail. He talks to the kids (well only two of them, the oldest doesnt care for him and the youngest doesnt care) and poisons their minds, calling their mother all sorts of names, in short turning her angels against her and into evil spawn. They are not outwardly hostile towards her. This breaks my heart and their not even my kids. I can only imagine what this is doing to her... but the end result is the same. She is leaving. period.
Two of the 4 kids have chosen to stay with their dad, the oldest will move out after graduating highschool (in june) and the youngest will live with us at the end of the school year.
This man is mentally unstable, and although he hasnt laid his hands on her, yet, I foresee it happening and so does everyone else. I say this, cos now that he has no control over her, something in him is going to snap. Seriously snap.
As humiliating as it is for her to tell people she is not just leaving a relationship, she is leaving an abusive one. No more fake smiles, or excuses she is staying for the kids, etc. She's taking charge.
Although all the fakeness never worked to begin with, we all knew deep down.
Her employer knows, the kids schools, the ministry of family services is about to learn of it (to protect the kids in case of the "what if's ever happen) and the local police will become aware this week.
Only as a precaution. Incase she starts to have "accidents" around the house, such as falling (being pushed) down stairs, falling on the ice, etc. So gawd forbid it happens, they are aware she was afraid and there will be no he said/she said.
She was/is willing to walk away with the clothes on her back, but he is even making that difficult. I think he forgot the person he met 13 years ago, how strong she is and wont be pushed around when she's decided she's had enough. She is taking all the right steps to protect herself and the welfare of the kids even though two are deciding to stay. Lawyered up, has the ministry and police and her support system are all aware of the situation. He, however has no idea.
He "apparently" hired a private investigator to look into the infidelity he claiming and is relaying incorrect and malicious information. After researching this person myself with help of friends in that industry, I've learned a few things, and my friend is in the right to file a complaint with 'Security Programs Division' of the Solicitor General's office.
With all this going on, the complaints I had about my own life, love, money, career, etc all seem extremely petty. Suddenly I'm feeling very grown up.
I'm not surprised at the lengths I'm willing to go to help my friend or protect her at all.
I just never thought it would come to this and the reality that it could/will get.much.worse, before it gets better.
He wants to play dirty, let him. We're taking the higher road and have all authorities, family, and friends we can involve. It's going to be a long fight, and in the end, she will win, if he doesnt put her life in danger first.
To think, there are thousands of women out there who are going through this and worse, who stay for the children, make excuses and are not strong enough to leave. My heart goes out to them to give them strength.
There is something to be said when a co worker will impose unsolicited advice and/or wisdom upon you, and have it come true.
How right she was.
You are now aware of the up coming changes in my life over the next 9 months. What I did not mention was how smoothly these transitions would NOT be.
My bestfriend is leaving her common-law spouse of 13 years. From day one I've never like this man. He made my skin crawl, and over the years, for good reason. Without giving the specific details of her life, he is a very controlling, verbal, emotional, mental, and financial abusive man. Thats putting it kindly.
In the past two months, I've gone from feeling young at heart to very much an adult. With real issues. (indirectly)
Things are escalating the more this man realizes that all his bullying, abusive tactics have no effect on my friend. She is leaving and there is nothing he can do, say, threaten her with to change her mind.
They have 4 kids. 3 together, 1 from a previous relationship.
He has now gone from begging her to stay, to threatening her, to emotional blackmail. He talks to the kids (well only two of them, the oldest doesnt care for him and the youngest doesnt care) and poisons their minds, calling their mother all sorts of names, in short turning her angels against her and into evil spawn. They are not outwardly hostile towards her. This breaks my heart and their not even my kids. I can only imagine what this is doing to her... but the end result is the same. She is leaving. period.
Two of the 4 kids have chosen to stay with their dad, the oldest will move out after graduating highschool (in june) and the youngest will live with us at the end of the school year.
This man is mentally unstable, and although he hasnt laid his hands on her, yet, I foresee it happening and so does everyone else. I say this, cos now that he has no control over her, something in him is going to snap. Seriously snap.
As humiliating as it is for her to tell people she is not just leaving a relationship, she is leaving an abusive one. No more fake smiles, or excuses she is staying for the kids, etc. She's taking charge.
Although all the fakeness never worked to begin with, we all knew deep down.
Her employer knows, the kids schools, the ministry of family services is about to learn of it (to protect the kids in case of the "what if's ever happen) and the local police will become aware this week.
Only as a precaution. Incase she starts to have "accidents" around the house, such as falling (being pushed) down stairs, falling on the ice, etc. So gawd forbid it happens, they are aware she was afraid and there will be no he said/she said.
She was/is willing to walk away with the clothes on her back, but he is even making that difficult. I think he forgot the person he met 13 years ago, how strong she is and wont be pushed around when she's decided she's had enough. She is taking all the right steps to protect herself and the welfare of the kids even though two are deciding to stay. Lawyered up, has the ministry and police and her support system are all aware of the situation. He, however has no idea.
He "apparently" hired a private investigator to look into the infidelity he claiming and is relaying incorrect and malicious information. After researching this person myself with help of friends in that industry, I've learned a few things, and my friend is in the right to file a complaint with 'Security Programs Division' of the Solicitor General's office.
With all this going on, the complaints I had about my own life, love, money, career, etc all seem extremely petty. Suddenly I'm feeling very grown up.
I'm not surprised at the lengths I'm willing to go to help my friend or protect her at all.
I just never thought it would come to this and the reality that it could/will get.much.worse, before it gets better.
He wants to play dirty, let him. We're taking the higher road and have all authorities, family, and friends we can involve. It's going to be a long fight, and in the end, she will win, if he doesnt put her life in danger first.
To think, there are thousands of women out there who are going through this and worse, who stay for the children, make excuses and are not strong enough to leave. My heart goes out to them to give them strength.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Huge change & adjustment happening 9 months from now.....
Pick your jaw up off the floor.
If any of you know me, in person or blog only, you’d know that I do not want children.
So to answer your question or insert disappointment upon you, no I am not pregnant.
However my life is changing right now, again in 2 months and more drastically 9 months from now.
Current Change:
Changing the dynamic of a long time friendship after recently being treated and dismissed like a second class friend. I’ll go into the details of it one day, but right now it’s entirely too fresh and sour to get into.
Short version – This person is no longer considered family to me. We’ll still be friends, just not extended family nor a priority friend.
2 month change:
My oldest and dearest friend is in the midst of a messing and hostile separation.
For her own sanity and to prevent injury against herself or her soon to be ex spouse, it’s best she move out immediately. With that said she may obtain an apt where she is (costly) or move here in January and save money for the big move to follow in June. (She is currently in another province and time zone)
9 month change:
Oldest dearest friend, her 4 kids (maybe only two) and I will be living together in a 5 bedroom house.
I say maybe only two, cos at this point and time, we believe two of her four kids are going to opt to stay with their Dad.
I’m excited and nervous for this change. We have been planning house rules etc for the kids, our dating lives etc. Cos even though I’m not their parent or even an aunt by blood relation, what I do around them is still sending a message. So there will not be random men coming and going from the house, ever.
When male friends come to the house, they will have to act like gentlemen at all times.
The hardest part of the adjustment will be living with the kids.
Not for me, but for the kids and adjusting to the fact that I will have a say in no TV before homework is completed, temporary groundings until their mother gets home etc.
More of a temporary guardian than another parent.
Some of the general house rules that have/will be implemented (subject to change) will be:
-Dinner at the kitchen table every night unless special occasion or to lazy to argue with them.
-Schedule bedtimes during the school week.
-Games night once a month (maybe more).
-A closed bedroom door requires knocking first, no walking in. (for both adults and kids)
-Rotating chores for all the kids and adults. They’re at an age where they should have a part in the household chores. (Dishes, vacuuming, garbage duty, cleaning bathroom and learning how to do laundry and asking if anyone has anything to add to make a full load)
This is great on paper, and I’m sure will change as we all adjust accordingly to the new living arrangements.
So this is the big change taking place in my life.
As hard and frustrating it will be at times, I’m optimistic for it and all the learning, growing, and adapting it will have to offer.
If any of you know me, in person or blog only, you’d know that I do not want children.
So to answer your question or insert disappointment upon you, no I am not pregnant.
However my life is changing right now, again in 2 months and more drastically 9 months from now.
Current Change:
Changing the dynamic of a long time friendship after recently being treated and dismissed like a second class friend. I’ll go into the details of it one day, but right now it’s entirely too fresh and sour to get into.
Short version – This person is no longer considered family to me. We’ll still be friends, just not extended family nor a priority friend.
2 month change:
My oldest and dearest friend is in the midst of a messing and hostile separation.
For her own sanity and to prevent injury against herself or her soon to be ex spouse, it’s best she move out immediately. With that said she may obtain an apt where she is (costly) or move here in January and save money for the big move to follow in June. (She is currently in another province and time zone)
9 month change:
Oldest dearest friend, her 4 kids (maybe only two) and I will be living together in a 5 bedroom house.
I say maybe only two, cos at this point and time, we believe two of her four kids are going to opt to stay with their Dad.
I’m excited and nervous for this change. We have been planning house rules etc for the kids, our dating lives etc. Cos even though I’m not their parent or even an aunt by blood relation, what I do around them is still sending a message. So there will not be random men coming and going from the house, ever.
When male friends come to the house, they will have to act like gentlemen at all times.
The hardest part of the adjustment will be living with the kids.
Not for me, but for the kids and adjusting to the fact that I will have a say in no TV before homework is completed, temporary groundings until their mother gets home etc.
More of a temporary guardian than another parent.
Some of the general house rules that have/will be implemented (subject to change) will be:
-Dinner at the kitchen table every night unless special occasion or to lazy to argue with them.
-Schedule bedtimes during the school week.
-Games night once a month (maybe more).
-A closed bedroom door requires knocking first, no walking in. (for both adults and kids)
-Rotating chores for all the kids and adults. They’re at an age where they should have a part in the household chores. (Dishes, vacuuming, garbage duty, cleaning bathroom and learning how to do laundry and asking if anyone has anything to add to make a full load)
This is great on paper, and I’m sure will change as we all adjust accordingly to the new living arrangements.
So this is the big change taking place in my life.
As hard and frustrating it will be at times, I’m optimistic for it and all the learning, growing, and adapting it will have to offer.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
In addition to the 40 before 40 list
Chatting with a g/f recently and we got to talking about more personal things women should be doing.
More so, your responsiblitiy to your womanhood body and health period.
Never gave it much thought, but as it turns out I've neglected my womanhood duties for the last couple years.
In addition to those details, I made a new list of things I have to do, that well, I've just been lazy about.
Some due to finances, others pure laziness.
Here is my list:
-Start self breast examinations.. again.
I found a lump a few years ago, had a mammogram and everything was fine. yay!
I havent checked myself since. (started again) the reminder now hangs in my shower.
-Yearly womanhood appointment. - It's been 3 years. We're suppose to go every year. (apt made)
-Get my passport (soon)
-Renew my Drivers licence (soon)
-Go to the dentist. - it's been 7 years. I use to have braces, you'd think I'd be more vigilant about it.
An apt. will be made in the new year.
-File 2008 taxes - Done Oct 19.09
-Get my eyes examined.
Okay this one is only less than a year delayed. This one is soley delayed due to finances.
What have you neglected to do recently that should be done annually?
More so, your responsiblitiy to your womanhood body and health period.
Never gave it much thought, but as it turns out I've neglected my womanhood duties for the last couple years.
In addition to those details, I made a new list of things I have to do, that well, I've just been lazy about.
Some due to finances, others pure laziness.
Here is my list:
-Start self breast examinations.. again.
I found a lump a few years ago, had a mammogram and everything was fine. yay!
I havent checked myself since. (started again) the reminder now hangs in my shower.
-Yearly womanhood appointment. - It's been 3 years. We're suppose to go every year. (apt made)
-Get my passport (soon)
-Renew my Drivers licence (soon)
-Go to the dentist. - it's been 7 years. I use to have braces, you'd think I'd be more vigilant about it.
An apt. will be made in the new year.
-File 2008 taxes - Done Oct 19.09
-Get my eyes examined.
Okay this one is only less than a year delayed. This one is soley delayed due to finances.
What have you neglected to do recently that should be done annually?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Got a cat.
I did. MY girlfriend's cat had a litter and I fell in love with one, then another.
She decided that on her visit to Vancouver in the next two weeks, she is going to bring him down with her.
Since knowingly I wont actually follow through and go get one myself.
He's adorable.
Mr. Cornelius Milo D. aka The Cornhole. or Corny. :)
I'm sure it will be an adjustment to have a pet again, and make arrangements to have a pet sitter etc when I go away for weekends. But overall, I think it will be a good thing, allergies and all. :)
If my allergies win, I'll find him another home. Only time will tell.
Keep your fingers crossed.
CMcB will have a posting to add in the next while.. she's a little delayed with work, sleeping in, reno's, life etc.
Stay tuned.
She decided that on her visit to Vancouver in the next two weeks, she is going to bring him down with her.
Since knowingly I wont actually follow through and go get one myself.
He's adorable.
Mr. Cornelius Milo D. aka The Cornhole. or Corny. :)
I'm sure it will be an adjustment to have a pet again, and make arrangements to have a pet sitter etc when I go away for weekends. But overall, I think it will be a good thing, allergies and all. :)
If my allergies win, I'll find him another home. Only time will tell.
Keep your fingers crossed.
CMcB will have a posting to add in the next while.. she's a little delayed with work, sleeping in, reno's, life etc.
Stay tuned.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Lighter topics
Lately my topics have gone from dating epic failures to changes in life.
I dont want this blog to get to blah and have no one read it. I have another one for that.
Last night I was in bed by 8pm and slept through til this morning... ya I'm going to the doctors.
Thinking about having some guest writers on my blog.
EvilTwin has made his appearance once and is always welcome back.
I was thinking about including CMcB. She is mensa smart, quirky and opinionated... Why wouldnt I have her include pieces.
TinkBell and maybe a few others.
I'll lay a few topics out and keep them reasonably light. Maybe not. ;p
That's all I have for now.
Happy Tuesday.
I dont want this blog to get to blah and have no one read it. I have another one for that.
Last night I was in bed by 8pm and slept through til this morning... ya I'm going to the doctors.
Thinking about having some guest writers on my blog.
EvilTwin has made his appearance once and is always welcome back.
I was thinking about including CMcB. She is mensa smart, quirky and opinionated... Why wouldnt I have her include pieces.
TinkBell and maybe a few others.
I'll lay a few topics out and keep them reasonably light. Maybe not. ;p
That's all I have for now.
Happy Tuesday.
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